Ron Bertsch

Previously published February 2013

I asked each family to take some time to write out and then share some of the things that they are most thankful. This came after our November support group dinner at DCCH.

It was amazing to hear the children of all ages, sizes and colors share their thanks for the wonderful gifts for which God had blessed them. Children, who one might think would have so little to offer thanks when considering the abuse and neglect, grief and trauma they suffered; but thanksgivings the children did share. The foster parents took their turns in giving thanks too.

Amanda stood up and shared her thanks. She is a school teacher and her husband is a computer technology manager. She shared, "I am really thankful that God did not grant my prayers." This was the surprise statement and now she had everyone’s attention.

Before anyone could question, she went further. Of course what she was talking about was the fact that she and Ken so desired to conceive and have a baby. As she said, "For if this prayer was answered the way we thought it needed to be, we would never have come to know the love that our new son and daughter have brought to us. The love that makes my husband, Ken a great father that I always knew he would be. The love that makes us a family, the way we always dreamed of having, and for two beautiful children who now call us mom and dad."

The adoption of their 5 year old daughter and 13 year old son occurred on December 27, 2012. As therapists, social workers and many relatives and friends filled the court room, nearly a dry eye was to be had when the gavel hit the bench and the judge declared the adoption final.

Ken and Amanda started their journey with DCCH, when they first called and inquired into becoming foster to adopt parents almost three years ago. They attended 30 hours of training and allowed me into their home. We prayed and shared a meal together at that first home visit. They proceeded to share their story.

As younger individuals, they finished their educations and found good jobs. They met and soon were engaged. They planned their wedding, traveled and had fun living and were enjoying their lives. They dreamed of the day they would become pregnant and have baby.

Unfortunately, they never conceived and they grieved, questioned and considered options of fertility treatments but never choose that path. They continued to pray often and hard for the miracle of having a baby but that prayer seemed to be unanswered.

Eleven years later, they decided to pursue adoption, and upon being approved with DCCH, they were matched with two children. Ken and Amanda started as respite parents for another foster family who first cared for the children. When the permanency goal was changed to adoption because the birth mother was unable to make the progress necessary to be reunited, we all knew these children should be placed with Ken and Amanda. No coincidences, for God gave us many signs to know this match was ordained by him.

Amanda and Ken worked very hard to build attachments, demonstrate their commitment and even grieve with the children when their birth mom visited or didn’t, or when she unconsciously showed favoritism to one child over the other. They were there to show love and respect to the birth mom and their grandfather because they deserved the dignity God gives and desires for all, simply because we are created in his image. But most of all because Ken and Amanda knew of the love these two children still carried for their mother and if they were to truly love them, it meant they must love their family as well, faults and all. They helped mom recognize her ultimate love for her children.

This imbued love helped the mother find peace with her decision to voluntarily terminate her rights that day in court, and she hugged Amanda with tears and thanked her. She then gave her blessings to the children in their good bye visit, to be happy and find peace with their new adoptive family.

Ken and Amanda wanted to celebrate this miracle, and threw a big party. They rented a hall, invited all their family, friends and folks from DCCH. We gathered with them near Valentine’s Day and congratulated them again recounting the thanksgivings and love they share. Looking back on the misfortunes that be felled them all just a few years ago now seems not so heavy but has been turned into immense peace and joy. Reason to declare what Romans 8:28 states, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."